‘Ignoring our emotions is turning our back on reality listening to our emotions ushers into reality. And reality is where we meet God Emotions are the language of the soul. They are the cry that gives the heart a voice.. However we often turn a deaf eor – through emotional denial, distortion, or disengagement We strain out anything disturbing in order gain tenuous control of our inner world. We are frightened and ashamed of what leaks into our consciousness. ln neglecting our intense emotions we are false to ourselves and lose a wonderful opportunity to know God. We forget that change comes through brutal honesty and vulnerability before God’ Cry of the soul Dan Allender and Tremper Longman III
During this journey I have discovered that not to address my emotions is to live in denial. I have found that I no longer think it is healthy to sweep things under the carpet and pretend they are not there – I need to deal with my heart.
For such a long time I have been taught, either directly or subconsciously, to hide weakness, to confess positively, to die to myself – even the good desires, to ignore my emotions, to believe I am a new creation and the past does not affect me, to hide conflict and quieten my questions, to get on with life and cover over brokenness, weakness and failure. I have found that this causes me to feel inadequate and ashamed as the “stuff” inside me affects the way I live and causes me to limp along in pain. There has to be a reality, an admitting our brokenness, a healing of the heart and a reconciliation of our souls.
For me I think it is like having rubbish in the rooms of my heart. We stomp on it, shout at it but do not deal with it. We squash it down into the recesses of our heart to try and forget about it all and lock it safely in to minimize damage. We are aware that the rubbish is there when people press against the door with what they say – it provokes a reaction in us. Memories and thoughts that are hidden may still be sore we may get angry or withdraw. We start to push so much inside we become hoarders of unresolved issues. We then become frightened to deal with things because to clear out the rooms means opening the doors. We know that once one thing falls out – the whole lot will follow quickly afterwards and this is too overwhelming to deal with. It is time to take a deep breath and open the door of the deepest recesses of our hearts. Time to let the rubbish fall out, be cleaned out, healed up and let ourselves feel again.
The only way to grow up and become emotionally mature is to understand myself and let the power of God into the deepest recesses of my heart.
If we read Isaiah 35:1&2 again we see that the desert where the crocuses blossom is full of flowering glory. The passage tells us that the land is parched and dry -so what is refreshing and watering these bulbs in order for them to bloom? The streams and waters do not start gushing forth till verse 6 so it isn’t the rivers.
Can I make a suggestion that it is the tears of those going through the wilderness bootcamp/college who are learning to let go? These are the children who have opened the doors of their past. It is the tears of those forgiving, releasing their pain, being touched by God’s love and crying out for more.
What follows this process? When we look further on in the same passage (verse 10) we see that sorrow and mourning will be no longer be found because joy will crown their heads and gladness and joy will overtake them.
Today: Spend some time with your Father and give yourself permission to feel again. Start to open those doors of your heart and let give God access to the secret parts of your soul.